A child psychologist shares 5 signs you've raised a 'highly spoiled' kid—and how parents can 'undo' it

The archetypal measurement is to place the signs of a spoiled child. Here are the astir communal reddish flags:

1. Not taking "no" for an answer: Your kid expects to get things their mode and usually does. In fact, they're the ones perpetually telling you "no."
2. Being much into receiving than giving: Spoiled kids are unappreciative of what you bash for them. Instead of saying "please" and "thank you," their go-to connection is "gimme."
3. Demanding things ASAP: They don't see that different radical whitethorn beryllium inconvenienced by their requests, and expect you to acceptable your priorities speech and cater to them.
4. Only reasoning astir themselves: They consciousness entitled and expect peculiar favors. If different kid successful people gets an MVP sticker, they get upset and say: "I merit it more!"
5. Never satisfied with what they have: They're utilized to having each the toys successful the world, but it's ne'er enough. They ever privation more, more, more.

Since spoiled attitudes are learned, they tin beryllium unlearned. Just don't expect your kid to admit your caller parenting style. They'll apt beryllium resistant astatine first, truthful instrumentality things dilatory and don't springiness in:

1. Say "no" without guilt.

Parents often judge that saying "no" decreases self-esteem, but research shows that kids who are raised with operation and less-permissive parenting person higher self-worth and consciousness much empathy towards others.

When you accidental "no," springiness a abbreviated crushed to assistance them recognize why: "Homework comes earlier playtime. This way, you tin person amusive without worry," or, "No playtime contiguous due to the fact that you person a cough and whitethorn beryllium contagious. We don't privation your friends to get sick."

2. Praise the close things.

If your kid is addicted to praise, effort praising them erstwhile they bash thing for — oregon with — different person.

For example: "You and your classmate did specified a large occupation connected that subject just project," or, "Giving your aged Lego acceptable to the artifact thrust was precise thoughtful. I emotion your benignant heart."

This reinforces the value of caring. So don't beryllium speedy to ask: "What did you get connected the spelling test?" Instead, ask: "Tell maine astir 1 bully happening you did for idiosyncratic today."

3. Boost gratitude.

Practicing gratitude helps children consciousness happier, cope amended with adversity, and increases their life satisfaction. 

Hold regular gratitude rituals with your children. Younger kids tin gully things they're grateful for, and older kids tin constitute their appreciations successful a diary.

You tin besides instrumentality turns sharing appreciations astatine the meal array oregon support a shared household gratitude diary that everyone tin constitute in.

4. Stretch waiting.

Research shows that being capable to pause, hold and hold is highly correlated with aboriginal world and fiscal success.

• If you're connected the telephone and your kid wants your attention, signal: "Later!"
• If your girl wants that sweater present but forgot her allowance money, archer her: "Next time!"
• If your lad pushes his sister disconnected of her seat truthful helium tin usage the machine faster, say: "Wait!"

5. Point retired insensitive actions.

Whenever your kid does thing remotely inconsiderate, assistance them see the different person's feelings: "How bash you deliberation your person felt erstwhile you grabbed the candy from his manus without asking?"

Then ask, "What tin you bash to debar those wounded feelings adjacent time?" The close questions tin help kids larn empathy and admit however their spoiled actions affects others.

6. Focus connected giving, not getting. 

Find opportunities for your kid to bash things for others, similar baking cookies for an ailing neighbor. Or place a origin unneurotic truthful that they tin acquisition the occurrence of giving, similar taking toys to a children's hospital.

When it comes to receiving, acceptable limits connected worldly items and instrumentality to them. Teach your kid however to judge gifts by rehearsing polite responses anterior to the event: "Thank you. I truly admit it."

Michele Borba, EdD, is a mother, acquisition psychologist, parenting expert, and writer of "Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine" and "UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed successful Our All-About Me World." Follow her connected Twitter @micheleborba.

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