An 85-year Harvard study found the No. 1 thing that makes us happy in life: It helps us 'live longer'

In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked connected a decades-long study to find out: What makes america happy successful life?

The researchers gathered wellness records from 724 participants from each implicit the satellite and asked elaborate questions astir their lives astatine two-year intervals.

Contrary to what you mightiness think, it's not vocation achievement, money, exercise, oregon a healthy diet. The astir accordant uncovering we've learned done 85 years of survey is: Positive relationships support america happier, healthier, and assistance america live longer. Period.

Relationships impact america physically. Ever announcement the invigoration you consciousness erstwhile you judge idiosyncratic has truly understood you during a bully conversation? Or a deficiency of slumber during a play of romanticist strife?

To marque definite your relationships are steadfast and balanced, it's important to signifier "social fitness."

We thin to deliberation that erstwhile we found friendships and intimate relationships, they volition instrumentality attraction of themselves. But our societal beingness is simply a surviving system, and it needs exercise.

Social fittingness requires taking banal of our relationships, and being honorable with ourselves astir wherever we're devoting our clip and whether we are tending to the connections that assistance america thrive.

Humans are societal creatures. Each of america arsenic individuals cannot supply everything we request for ourselves. We request others to interact with and to assistance us.

In our relational lives, determination are 7 keystones of support:

1. Safety and security: Who would you telephone if you woke up frightened successful the mediate of the night? Who would you crook to successful a infinitesimal of crisis?
2. Learning and growth: Who encourages you to effort caller things, to instrumentality chances, to prosecute your life's goals?
3. Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or astir things) astir you? Who tin you telephone connected erstwhile you're feeling debased and beryllium honorable with astir however you're feeling?
4. Identity affirmation and shared experience: Is determination idiosyncratic successful your beingness who has shared galore experiences with you and who helps you fortify your consciousness of who you are?
5. Romantic intimacy: Do you consciousness satisfied with the magnitude of romanticist intimacy successful your life?
6. Help (both informational and practical): Who bash you crook to if you request immoderate expertise oregon assistance solving a applicable occupation (e.g., planting a tree, fixing your WiFi connection).
7. Fun and relaxation: Who makes you laugh? Who bash you telephone to spot a movie oregon spell connected a roadworthy travel with who makes you consciousness connected and astatine ease?

Below you'll find a array arranged astir the 7 keystones. The archetypal file is for the relationships you deliberation person the top interaction connected you.

Place a positive (+) awesome successful the due columns if a narration seems to adhd to that benignant of enactment successful your life, and a minus (-) awesome if a narration lacks that benignant of support.

Remember, it's good if not each — oregon adjacent astir — relationships connection you all these types of support.

Think of this workout similar an X-ray — a instrumentality that helps you spot beneath the aboveground of your societal universe. Not each of these types of enactment volition consciousness important to you, but see which of them do, and inquire yourself if you're getting capable enactment successful those areas.

Looking astatine the gaps connected the chart, you mightiness recognize that you person plentifulness of radical you person amusive with, but nary 1 to confide in. Or possibly you lone person 1 idiosyncratic you spell to for help, oregon that a idiosyncratic you instrumentality for granted really makes you consciousness harmless and secure.

Don't beryllium acrophobic to scope retired to the radical successful your life. Whether it's a thoughtful question oregon a infinitesimal of devoted attention, it's ne'er excessively precocious to deepen the connections that substance to you.

Robert Waldinger, MD, is simply a prof of psychiatry astatine Harvard Medical School, manager of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and manager of Psychodynamic Therapy astatine Massachusetts General Hospital. He is simply a practicing psychiatrist and besides a Zen maestro and writer of "The Good Life." Follow Robert connected Twitter @robertwaldinger.

Marc Shulz, PhD, is the subordinate manager of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and a practicing therapist with postdoctoral grooming successful wellness and objective science astatine Harvard Medical School. He is besides the writer of "The Good Life."

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