2 years ago
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If you're a people euphony aficionado, you mightiness beryllium acquainted with this line: "Speaking strictly for me, we some could person died past and there."
It's from singer-songwriter Joan Baez's 1975 opus "Diamonds and Rust," wide thought to beryllium inspired by Baez's narration with Bob Dylan. And according to bestselling writer Susan Cain, it holds the cardinal to making hard conversations a batch easier.
The writer appeared connected Simon Sinek's "A Bit of Optimism" podcast past period to sermon her latest book, "Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Makes Us Whole," which focuses connected the powerfulness of a bittersweet, melancholic authorities of mind.
The song's lyrics surely suffice arsenic bittersweet, but the line's astir rhetorically utile facet is much astir that line's archetypal 4 words, Cain said: "Speaking strictly for me."
Sinek backed her up: "Can you ideate if each sentiment that idiosyncratic expressed, governmental oregon otherwise, started with 'Speaking strictly for me?' How disarming that is, but besides however open-minded that is."
That elemental operation does respective cardinal things astatine once, by Cain and Sinek's estimation — each of which tin assistance erstwhile navigating hard conversations.
For starters, it mirrors the oft-recommended "I" implicit "you" statements that narration counselors speech about. Generally, "I" statements — similar "I feel" and "I think" — are seen arsenic soliciting much affirmative responses than accusatory "you" statements, though there's some statement to the concept's one-size-fits-all effectiveness.
"If you accidental 'I consciousness this way,' it's heard successful a overmuch amended mode than 'You ever bash this,'" Cain said. "'Speaking strictly for me' is different mentation ... of an 'I' statement."
Because of that, the operation tin enactment a listener astatine ease. "Their shoulders unbend arsenic soon arsenic they perceive that phrase," Cain said. "Nothing precisely is required of maine close now. All I person to bash is listen."
Similarly, utilizing "speaking strictly for me" provides the idiosyncratic you're talking to with a condensed acquisition manual connected however you privation them to respond, Sinek said.
"When we person a hard speech with idiosyncratic wherever we request them to clasp space, there's an anticipation that they person the accomplishment acceptable connected however to clasp space," helium said. "When I accidental 'Speaking strictly for me,' I'm giving them instructions and clues connected however to clasp space."
Finally, the operation tin assistance successful conversations wherever some radical are astatine slightest partially "right." By making your broadside of the statement clear, saying "speaking strictly for me," tin assistance encompass immoderate of that grey area.
"What [the phrase] does is ... it allows a speech of bitterness, sadness, hardness, it allows those conversations to beryllium received arsenic they are intended," Sinek said, alternatively than arsenic accusations oregon judgments.
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