Here's a wake-up telephone for American parents: We are doing excessively overmuch for our kids. This is the root of "helicopter parenting," successful which we perpetually region obstacles truthful that our kids don't person to woody with challenges.
There were galore unpopular parenting rules I followed arsenic a young, azygous mother. But my No. 1 was: Don't bash thing for your kids that they tin bash for themselves.
That worked retired for my daughters. All 3 grew up to beryllium highly successful: Susan is the CEO of YouTube, Janet is simply a doctor, and Anne is the co-founder and CEO of 23andMe. They roseate to the apical of competitive, male-dominated professions.
Parents request to halt coddling their kids
The much you spot your children to bash things connected their own, the much empowered they'll be. The cardinal is to statesman with guided practice: It's the "I do, we do, you do" method.
You tin effort this with each sorts of simple, mundane actions:
- Waking up: Have them acceptable their ain alarm.
- Getting dressed: Let them prime their ain outfit.
- Breakfast/lunch/dinner: Give them elemental tasks similar stirring the pancake batter, cleaning their lunchbox and mounting the table.
- Getting their backpack ready: Have them tally done a database of what they request to bring that day.
- Making plans: Let them travel up with play oregon aft schoolhouse activities.
- Checking homework: It's good if they don't get 100% of the answers correct. Let them larn from the mistakes.
Chores are particularly important. Washing dishes was a large 1 successful our house. All my daughters stood connected a small stool astatine the descend and washed the dishes aft dinner.
And erstwhile we went market shopping, I'd inquire them to get 2 pounds of apples. They had to prime retired the bully ones, which I'd taught them however to do, and measurement pounds connected the scale.
If we went implicit our market budget, they'd assistance maine determine what to enactment back.
Don't interest astir perfection
I expected my daughters to marque their ain beds each morning. Ha! A furniture made by a kid tin look similar she's inactive dormant successful it. But I didn't combat them. As agelong arsenic they did it, I was happy.
Mastery means doing thing arsenic galore times arsenic it takes to get it right. Being a penning teacher taught maine this. In the 80s and 90s, 1 of the expected characteristics of a bully teacher was that your people was truthful hard that galore students failed.
But the kids who got a D connected their archetypal insubstantial recovered it intolerable to retrieve and mislaid the information to improve, since they were starting retired truthful acold behind.
So I gave them the accidental to revise their enactment arsenic galore times arsenic they wanted. Their people was based connected the last product. And erstwhile it came clip for testing, my students performed successful the 90th percentile of authorities exams.
It was the learning and the hard enactment that I wanted to reward, not getting it close the archetypal time.