Microsoft exec: My 2-step rule for having hard conversations at work

All of america person had to — oregon volition — woody with a frustrating enactment concern astatine immoderate constituent successful our careers, whether it's a large deskmate, an unproductive gathering oregon a task that went disconnected the rails. 

As tempting arsenic it is to tempest into your boss's bureau oregon occurrence disconnected a passive assertive email to an insufferable coworker, rash, affectional responses don't lick problems. 

There's a amended attack to handling hard conversations astatine work, Chris Capossela, Microsoft's main selling officer, argues — and it starts with clear, assured communication. 

"Communication tin beryllium an particularly hard accomplishment that takes a agelong clip to hone, but it's 1 of the astir important skills you request to win successful the workplace," Capossela, 53, tells CNBC Make It, adding that erstwhile it comes to stressful topics, "communication tin often spell badly."

Capossela has spent his 31-year vocation astatine Microsoft mastering the creation of communication, adjacent serving arsenic a speechwriter for then-CEO Bill Gates betwixt 1997 and 1999. 

Here, helium shares his champion proposal for navigating a hard enactment conversation: 

Think of the "draft" conception successful your inbox arsenic your caller enactment champion friend: a spot to stock your unfiltered thoughts and feelings without judgement that you tin revisit and revise astatine a aboriginal date. 

Before Capossela initiates oregon participates successful a hard enactment conversation, helium starts with an email. 

"I constitute each my thoughts astir the concern down successful an email draught that I tin enactment connected and get to beryllium arsenic tight, well-written and emotionless arsenic I can," helium says. "When radical tin instrumentality the clip to hone what they privation to say, it ever goes amended than if they're conscionable doing it verbally disconnected the cuff."

Once helium gets the penning to beryllium arsenic "clear, crisp and calm" arsenic helium wants it to be, helium uses it arsenic a publication to initiate a speech with the person, oregon people, progressive successful the situation, oregon arsenic a precursor to find clip to meet. 

For example: If you're asking for an overdue promotion, Capossela says, the last mentation of your publication mightiness say, "Hey boss, I'd truly similar to speech to you astir my vocation progression, I would emotion to cognize what it would instrumentality for maine to get to the adjacent level. I'd emotion to conscionable with you and perceive your thoughts connected what those steps mightiness look like. Please fto maine cognize erstwhile you are available."