You Don’t Need to Outgrow Fandom

Last summertime erstwhile I turned 25, I reflected connected being a quarter-century aged — what’s changed and stayed the aforesaid successful my life. The reply was, a batch has changed. I unrecorded acold from the municipality wherever I grew up, and it’s been years since I’ve visited. I’m married. I’ve worked longer astatine my existent occupation than the clip my undergraduate grade took. And having travel into my ain arsenic an big during the pandemic, I consciousness a consciousness of gravity astir beingness I didn’t before.

But though I’ve gotten older and my beingness has changed successful galore ways, my hobbies wide person not. Fandom, successful particular, is inactive a ample portion of my beingness — thing I didn’t expect.

One of my earlier memories is of my parents watching The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King DVD astatine home. I can’t retrieve a clip wherever I wasn’t astatine slightest acquainted with Tolkien’s work. We moved distant from my hometown erstwhile I was young, and I recovered comfortableness successful speechmaking The Hobbit — hoping that, similar Bilbo, I could accommodate to a caller and unusual environment. As I said goodbye to aged friends and met caller ones, the fictional characters and worlds I recovered successful bid similar Lord of the Rings, Sherlock Holmes, and Discworld offered a consciousness of familiarity.

I’m not a teen anymore. I recognize myself amended than I did erstwhile I was younger, and I’ve recovered methods of coping with uncertainty that I didn’t cognize then. Yet fandom is inactive a beardown portion of my life. I walk my escaped clip listening to Tolkien podcasts and speechmaking books oregon papers that analyse his work. My hubby indulges maine successful rewatching Star Trek adjacent though helium has lone a mild involvement successful it. And 1 of my astir anticipated parts of 2023 is getting to spot Aziraphale and Crowley’s communicative proceed successful Good Omens play 2.

Sometimes I’ve caught myself feeling blameworthy astir this, similar reasoning astir fictional worlds is someway frivolous oregon selfish. Was determination thing immature astir me, that I hadn’t grown retired of it erstwhile a batch of my friends had (or astatine slightest seemed to)? Then I recovered a memoir that grappled with akin questions.

This is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch explores writer Tabitha Carvan’s realization arsenic a caller genitor that arsenic radical turn up, they’re often expected to springiness up interests that are seen arsenic “silly” oregon “unimportant.” As a teenager, she loved lad bands. But she felt that portion of increasing up meant putting distant interests that didn’t person a intent oregon assistance others successful immoderate way.

Until, decades later, she developed a caller passion: this time, for British histrion Benedict Cumberbatch. At first, she felt ashamed astir it. Watching BBC Sherlock and Marvel movies didn’t service a greater purpose. All it did was marque her happy, and she wasn’t adjacent definite why.

As adults, we’re often pressured to find a hobby that benefits others successful immoderate way. Knitting oregon learning to code, for example, produces thing that others tin use. But, arsenic Carvan writes, hobbies that don’t bash overmuch too marque you blessed are inactive creating a worthwhile happening — happiness.

Though our interests disagree — I was much of a Martin Freeman instrumentality than a Benedict Cumberbatch instrumentality erstwhile I watched BBC Sherlock — her memoir shaped the mode I looked astatine hobbies I erstwhile considered silly. Sure, listening to my Tolkien podcasts don’t effect successful thing utile for others oregon a transferable enactment accomplishment (unless attempting to recognize The Silmarillion is a skill), but they bring maine joyousness and comfortableness erstwhile beingness is hard. And I deliberation that’s thing everyone deserves.

In a way, it’s similar a geekier mentation of the enactment from Mary Oliver’s “Wild Geese”: “You bash not person to locomotion connected your knees for a 100 miles done the godforsaken repenting. You lone person to fto the brushed carnal of your assemblage emotion what it loves.”

Whether that’s rereading aged favorites, making creation for art’s sake, oregon simply appreciating moments for what they are, I anticipation we tin each find clip for elemental joys. They’re immoderate of the champion parts of life.