Nightwing Is the Worst-Dressed Superhero, Actually

A fewer months back, my chap Rioter Eileen Gonzalez wrote an nonfiction called “Iron Man Is the Worst-Dressed Superhero and I Can Prove It.” I respect Eileen deeply, and truthful it is with a dense bosom that I americium obligated to constituent retired conscionable however precise incorrect she is. Tony Stark is simply a wretched dresser, of course. But Nightwing, AKA Dick Grayson, AKA the archetypal Robin, is the worst dresser successful comics. And I person the receipts.

Now, similar Eileen, I’m lone focusing connected Dick’s civilian manner sense, arsenic his aboriginal sartorial efforts arsenic Nightwing person already been thoroughly dunked connected (including by me). Like Tony, Dick has capable wealth to spend to formal well. And yet helium reaches into his closet each greeting and chooses violence.

Dick spent astir of the Golden and Silver Age wearing beauteous overmuch the aforesaid reddish sweater implicit a achromatic collared shirt, and I person nary complaints there. It’s lone erstwhile helium deed adolescence and started hanging retired with his friends that things got…concerning. Like, here’s what the Titans chose to deterioration erstwhile they recovered retired astir hippies successful Teen Titans #15:

Get acceptable for an implicit CAVALCADE of unspeakable wigs.

That’s Dick connected the left, followed by Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, and Aqualad. Now, these are costumes for blending successful undercover (uh…good luck), but it’s inactive an denotation that erstwhile freed from the confines of his reddish sweater, Dick mightiness not rather cognize what to bash with himself.

Kory, of course, looks fabulous.

Sure enough, erstwhile Dick needs to deterioration a suit successful New Teen Titans #26, he’s inactive leaning connected those Robin colors for help. Can you ideate seeing a feline successful a agleam greenish three-piece suit and reddish necktie and he’s not moving astatine Santa’s kiosk astatine the mall? And we haven’t adjacent gotten started yet!

He looks good to me, Donna.

Dick’s a small much relaxed erstwhile it comes to moving retired a mates issues later, successful that helium seemingly wears blistery pinkish briefs and small matching slippers. Hey, if you got it, flaunt it. (And helium does: Dick spends overmuch of New Teen Titans successful a Speedo. Thank you, George Perez.)

But the ’90s was truly Dick’s clip to shine. And by “shine,” I mean helium inactive seemingly hears the words “civilian disguise” and perfectly panics:

“Welcome to Lowe’s! Can I assistance you find anything?”

Yes, that’s Dick, who wore this peculiar wig + mustache combo connected multiple occasions. Starfire is specified a forgiving girlfriend.

Yes, Kory is wearing a bra arsenic a shirt. Yes, she’s inactive the amended dressed idiosyncratic here.

Sometimes, though, helium went retired arsenic himself…and erstwhile helium did, helium wore a hideously patterned blazer 2 sizes excessively large and a small rattail. Also, what is going connected with that shirt?

Just due to the fact that your matrimony is simply a shambles and your beingness is directionless is nary crushed not to distress each of your apparel for the aesthetic.

Then I conjecture helium got truly into grunge? Honestly it’s the formal shoes (I think?) that truly marque and/or ruin this outfit for me. Business connected the toes, enactment connected the clothes.

This feels similar the polar other of those tiny pinkish shorts from before.

How galore pairs of shorts astatine a clip is excessively many? Asking for a person (the person is Dick).

And then, of course, determination is the astir infamous Nightwing outfit of all, from his archetypal solo miniseries:

Dick’s outfit is sponsored by Dippin’ Dots (the crystal pick of the future!).

Dick doesn’t privation anyone to hide helium was raised successful the circus, and he’s succeeding astatine that goal. I’ll springiness him this: the mullet is, you know, a mullet, but it’s highly lustrous. However, I deliberation it’s important that you each cognize that virtually similar a leafage aboriginal helium manages to bash this to it:

No, Dick. No, it is not mode awesome.

I cognize I said I wouldn’t speech astir costumes, but hairsbreadth is just game! Apparently erstwhile it compresses successful measurement it grows successful length? Although sometimes it’s shorter than it’s shown here, truthful possibly it’s retractable. I don’t privation to deliberation astir this anymore.

Finally, I’d similar to contiguous small diagnostic I similar to telephone “Don’t Invite Dick Grayson to Your Wedding Because He Will Look Ridiculous and Also Either the Wedding oregon Subsequent Marriage Will Inevitably Go Horribly Awry”:

I conjecture theoretically we could blasted this 1 connected Donna.

Here helium is giving Donna Troy distant astatine her wedding. It’s a saccharine moment, adjacent though Donna’s groom is an atrocious idiosyncratic who she yet divorced. But those ruffled cuffs are something.

Probably for the champion that it ended truthful poorly. I mean, deliberation of the wedding photos!

This is the champion tux Dick has ever worn to a wedding but the mullet is astatine its astir unforgivable. (Also similar 3 pages aboriginal an evil Raven attacks the wedding and incinerates the curate with hellfire.)

They look truthful into it, don’t they?

The mullet was “better” and the tux was overmuch worse astatine Dick’s 2nd wedding…to a pistillate helium was trying to beryllium had murdered her erstwhile husbands. Shockingly, this matrimony didn’t extremity well, either.

This is not a favor, Dick. This is an imposition.

And finally, we get a one-two punch for Dick’s crook arsenic Wally West’s champion man: we person some a hideous wedding look and a panicky civilian disguise! Not to notation being 4 for 4 with disastrous weddings aft an evil wizard makes everyone hide the bride ever existed. (Don’t worry, Wally yet recovered her again and helium and Linda are inactive going strong. Love wins! For radical different than Dick Grayson, astatine least!)

I wanted to adjacent retired with an illustration of a recent, wide hated improvement successful Dick’s life: that clip helium got changeable successful the head, got amnesia, and started calling himself “Ric Grayson.” Unfortunately (fortunately), helium was drawn by Travis Moore for a batch of this clip and helium looks incredible:

Ric’s a large Bon Jovi fan.

Hm. So erstwhile Dick doesn’t retrieve who helium is, helium looks great? I ne'er thought I’d accidental we should bring backmost Ric Grayson, but it mightiness beryllium the lone mode we tin prevention Dick from himself. DC, you cognize what to do.