Jane Bennet is Lovely…and Dangerous

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Carolina Ciucci is simply a teacher, writer and reviewer based successful the southbound of Argentina. She hoards books similar they’re going retired of style. In lawsuit of emergency, you tin summon her by talking astir Ireland, fictional witches, and the Brontë family. Twitter: @carolinabeci

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I don’t deliberation I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t love, oregon astatine slightest like, Jane Bennet. The eldest of the Bennet sisters is simply a genuinely kind, generous, empathetic idiosyncratic who ever looks for (and finds) the champion successful others, and is blessed to supply 2nd chances without judgement. What’s not to like?

Well. Actually. There is 1 thing.

Just to beryllium clear: Jane Bennet is a beauteous person, and successful a batch of ways, idiosyncratic to look up to and emulate. After all, successful the satellite we unrecorded in, open-hearted and open-minded radical are to beryllium treasured. Without a doubt, she’s 1 of my favourite Austen characters. But each clip I reread Pride and Prejudice, I’m struck by the aforesaid thing: arsenic fantastic arsenic she is, Jane tin besides beryllium unsafe and harmful without meaning to be. Let maine explain.

“But He’s Such a Nice Guy!”

When Elizabeth archetypal tells Jane astir Wickham’s relationship of his narration with Darcy, Jane is horrified. Unlike Elizabeth, Jane isn’t flooded by an attraction to Wickham: she’s moved by her ain request to springiness everyone the payment of the doubt. And to a definite point, this is admirable. Jane doesn’t hasten to blasted oregon condemn either due to the fact that she realizes she doesn’t person each the facts.

“It is hard indeed-it is distressing. One does not cognize what to think.”

Pride and Prejudice, section XVII

But it goes beyond that — and that’s wherever it stops being admirable and veers into dangerous: Jane is besides taken successful by Wickham’s charisma and quality of goodness.

…she knew not however to judge that Mr. Darcy could beryllium truthful unworthy of Mr. Bingley’s regard; and yet, it was not successful her quality to question the veracity of a young antheral of specified amiable quality arsenic Wickham.

Pride and Prejudice, section XVII

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Jane isn’t lone inclined to deliberation good of Wickham due to the fact that her knee-jerk absorption is ever to deliberation good of others. She’s besides inclined to deliberation good of him due to the fact that he’s “a young antheral of specified amiable appearance.” In different words: helium looks similar specified a bully guy!

How often person we heard, oregon adjacent said, “he wouldn’t bash that! He’s specified a bully guy!” astir a antheral who’s been accused of abuse, oregon different damaging actions of lesser impact? Whenever a celebrated antheral is accused of wrongdoing, particularly if he’s accused by a woman, Internet remark sections go a depressingly predictable landscape:

“She’s lying.”

“She’s conscionable doing it for the money.”

“If it’s true, wherefore travel guardant now?”

“She definite seemed affable erstwhile she posed for the aforesaid representation with him astatine X event.”

Like clockwork, specified radical show a staggering deficiency of knowing of however maltreatment works, who tin beryllium an abuser and a victim, and the assorted ways successful which victims and survivors mightiness react.

“But helium seems similar specified a bully guy.”

It’s a operation that is thrown astir a lot. And it is this — this unusual thought that charisma and coercion are someway mutually exclusive — which serves to bolster a damaging misconception astir abusers.

“Why “he seems specified a bully guy” is the incorrect effect to maltreatment allegations” by Kayleigh Dray

When successful Doubt, Listen to Maya Angelou

You cognize that punctuation by Maya Angelou that says “When idiosyncratic shows you who they are, judge them the archetypal time”? Jane keeps extending Wickham the payment of the uncertainty agelong past the clip erstwhile it is tenable to bash so.

To person his errors made nationalist mightiness ruin him forever. He is now, perhaps, atrocious for what helium has done, and anxious to re-establish a character. We indispensable not marque him desperate.

Pride and Prejudice, section XL

Let’s recap what Jane knows of Wickham’s actions up to this point, shall we? He each but tried to scam Darcy, manipulated a 15-year-old miss into astir eloping with him successful bid to get his hands connected her money, lied astir Darcy’s attraction of him, and willfully and consistently maligned his reputation. The second happened specified months earlier she says helium mightiness beryllium atrocious for what he’s done.

Jane. Come on. What astir this man’s caller behaviour makes you deliberation helium regrets anything? At this point, her generosity has go a stubborn rejection of reality.

Real-Life Implications

Nothing remained truthful to beryllium done, but to deliberation good of them both, to support the behaviour of each, and propulsion into the relationship of mishap oregon mistake immoderate could not different beryllium explained.

Pride and Prejudice, section XVII

Jane genuinely believes that everyone she comes successful interaction with is simply a bully person, and that immoderate interpersonal struggle tin lone beryllium owed to a misunderstanding. This ignores an unfortunate fact: oppressors and abusers exist. And they trust connected radical similar Jane, those who need to spot the champion successful everyone, to propulsion their victims into isolation and silence.

Jane is simply a mild illustration of this phenomenom: she ne'er holds Elizabeth’s harsh words astatine Darcy against her (“I bash not cognize that you were incorrect successful saying what you did”), and she ne'er tries to archer those who were wronged however to respond against those who wronged them. But she stays neutral adjacent aft learning the facts of what went down betwixt Darcy and Wickham, and Wickham and Georgiana. She inactive thinks, aft each of this, that Wickham can’t person had atrocious intentions erstwhile moving distant with Lydia.

We’ve each known idiosyncratic who told america to springiness a known bully oregon abuser a chance. Some of them bash truthful retired of an aversion to conflict. Some, similar Jane, bash it due to the fact that they genuinely deliberation that everyone tin and should get along. But the results are the same: an insistence connected niceness adjacent astatine the disbursal of kindness, and radical who mistreat others being granted the aforesaid leeway arsenic those who person been mistreated.

Jane Bennet has a batch of qualities that we should emulate. But her stubborn refusal to spot radical for who they are isn’t 1 of them.

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